Non-Sequitur #58: I’m a Lazy Bastard

Sexy woman with brass knuckles by Francisco Ruiz Velasco just because…

Ok …I haven’t done a column in a looong time, just because I’m a Way Lazy Bastard, ok?

Train I Ride

A couple of weeks ago I was on the train and I sat behind a woman who smelled like coffee cake. She didn’t have a coffee cake with her  as far as I could tell, but she did smell like coffee cake. It made me hungry.

Last week I got on the Green Line El Train and they were using the fancy new trains! The trains smelled nice and were very clean. The seats are arranged differently in that they mostly all face each other. The idea is that during rush hour they’ll be able to squeeze more folks on to each car. But yeah, the train  cars smelled really clean.

Hurry, hurry here comes my stop

So, I was coming home from work on the bus last week and I was reading a local free paper. There’s a photo of a musician on the cover and a drunk guy felt it necessary to point out that the man was playing a trumpet. Cuz I guess maybe he thought I wasn’t aware of that? Drunk guy later tells me about how he’s able to meet nice girls but not keep them and this somehow segways into to him not being able to comprehend how some guys look at other guys romantically. Dude…I don’t know yer situation, but maybe, just maybe if you’d spend less time wondering what gay guys are doing and more time being not drunk, maybe the nice girls will stick around a little longer. I’m not judging…I’m saying this as one drunk guy to another.

I’ll be seeing you in Hell

One the same bus there was a girl with her boyfriend sitting a little in front of us. The young lady had a bag that had a bag with the logo of the punk rock band the Misfits. Right when I got off the bus, there was a young black man who was wearing a Misfits T-Shirt. It’s very interesting to me that The Misfits are one of the those bands you see their artwork everywhere and you start to wonder, is that person really into the group or did they just say,” That’s a cool shirt, Imma get one?” Either way it’s all good , I guess…I mean the band still gets their money, right? I ain’t  not goddam sonovabitch…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LOaEzmaPfU

Hmm…a cool comic book thing, I saw a girl (late teens maybe?) wearing a t-shirt with Capt America’s shield logo on it.

I saw a guy throwing up when I was getting on the Blue Line the other day. I wish I had something deep to say about this but…it was just a random guy throwing up…

I have a note written down that says “anthrax”. I can’t remember what this means. I probably heard a song by heavy metal group Anthrax in a place where I didn’t expect to hear it. But I really don’t remember now.

Here’s one I do remember! I was getting money at the bank and this was the song that was playing.

 

 

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Non-Sequitur #56: Summer and Blondes

Woman with Jimi Hendrix signature tattoo. Don’t hate…if you could have, you would have done it too. Hey, Jimi had his share of blondes, right?

Last week I was at Jewel Grocery Store buying artichoke and asiago dip and Doritos. I swear the girl (she wasn’t blonde) in line behind me let out a silent fart. Sure, she was cool about it and I didn’t let on…but, yeah…

Next morning I had beer and Cheetoes for breakfast. Yes, I am digging my own grave.

Morning after for breakfast I had wild rice and brocholli with a hot dog chopped up in it. Better, but not quite there yet.

Later, I went to the corner deli/grocery store and ordered three tacos for dinner. Two steak and one chicken. Funny, although the girl with big teeth is always there, I haven’t seen the lady who calls me senor in a long time. While I was waiting for food some dude came in wearing calogne so thick it almost knocked me out. On the the plus side, Blondie’s  Heart of Glass was playing in the store, so that made me happy.

Coming home from work last Thursday, an interesting woman got on the bus and sat between me and another dude.  She was a blonde lady wearing shades and carrying a cup filled with what I thought was tea. I was reading a local free paper that carries Dan Savage’s sex advice column http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=13860394. It seemed like the lady was peaking a  look at my paper so I turned from Dan’s column and went to the stage and movies reviews. I admit it, I got a little self conscious and didn’t want her to catch me reading the bit about what some dude was doing with his bear skin rug.

Anyway, things were uneventful for several blocks until the Blonde Lady noticed a young woman in the back of the bus wearing the T-Shirt of a particular rock star. Then we were all greeted to shrill cries of, “OH MY GOD! Johnny Lang! Oh my god…You saw JOHNNY LANG? OH MY GOD!!”  She then went on about how Johnny Lang is her 2nd favorite singer and how much she liked the girl’s T-shirt and oh my god Johnny Lang. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tigVYfHVmQ The young lady was polite and said thank you, but was clearly more interested in her i-phone than talking to strangers. That’s when I realized what the Blonde Lady’s fragrance was…it was perfume and gin.

Now please don’t think I’m judging. My Ex, the closest I’ve gotten  to having a love of my life was a heavy wine drinker. And had I been on that bus 24 hrs earlier, I would have been reeking of Ivory soap and high gravity lager. So, I’m not putting Blonde Lady down…I’m just saying Game Recognizes Game, ya know?

Blonde Lady then turned her attention to the guy who was sitting on the other side of her and they had a somewhat dis-jointed conversation about music venues in the city and suburbs. Their talk continued until she got off the bus. I took a look at her again when she was on the street. I saw her throw away the now empty cup that I originally thought was tea. Yeah…we’ll meet again someday.

Umm…comics?

Defenders #7: Art by Terry and Rachel Dodson…awesome! This issue features Black Cat  (she’s a platinum  blonde)stealing a Satan’s Claw for a group of group of collectors who promptly recruit her for another gig. Meanwhile, The Defenders are trying to track down the Prince of Orphans and their search leads then to Wakanda and the Black Panther. I’m surprised at how much I’m enjoying Matt fractions writing on this series. I’m sorta looking forward to Jaimie McKelvie’s art next issue.

Animal Man #10:   ( Buddy Baker is blonde!) Ok, the story seems to be picking up again…so, I guess I’m happy again. Steve Pugh is a good replacement for Travel Foreman. He’s able to keep in step with the psychedelic horror vibe of the title.

Minute Men #1: It’s only the first issue and this seems to be mostly set up, so I’m not sure what to make of the story’s direction or what themes it will touch on later. Darwyn Cooke is very talented…however, so far this looks like a decent superhero comic and Watchmen was never supposed to be a superhero comic.


Hey! The weather’s been really nice lately! I think I’ll go outside and do something!

Finally, Summer Blonde by Adrian Tomine.   Find this comic story and read it. http://www.atomicbooks.com/index.php/optic-nerve-7.html

Non-Sequitur #47: But I Want You to Be True

Storm by Dave Cockrum

My Job Continues to Make me Fat

My boss had a birthday last week. Our supervisor who’s always throwing parties and what not, made taco salad. It was great. My waist line ever expands.

Unexpected Tunage

Coming home I was walking through the hall, I heard someone blasting Its A Long Way to The Top If You Wanna Rock n Roll  by hard rock band AC/DC. It made me happy.

Protest And Survive

Wikipedia and other sites shut down to protest SOPA. Due to public outcry, it seems the bill has been placed on hold. Yea, democracy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i70zFUh5ugA

Overheard On the Bus 

I was on the bus last week. A couple of young people were talking about the president. The girl said something about people voting for Obama just because he’s black. The young  man replied something like, “Well, you know black is the new majority.” I thought, yes… in someplace like Kenya. We live in the United States. Black people maybe 12% of the population, hardly a “new majority”. Oh, well…

Ed Is a Drunken Slob

Last weekend I was drinking alone at home and I decided to go out for some more beer. On the way to the liquor store, I ran into one of my drinking buddies.  Usually when I run into him he wants to hang out, but this time he had his bike and seemed preoccupied. I thought, ha! I bet he’s on the prowl for some mischief.  When I got to the store I couldn’t find the $10 bill I thought I had and I almost freaked out. I re-traced my steps all the while thinking that the bill had somehow slipped out of my pocket and blown away. When I got to my block, I saw my buddy hanging out on the corner. I thought, he’s definitely on the prowl for some mischief,  but I was cursing myself for being so stupid and careless. I went inside and saw the 10 bucks on the table. I then thought maybe this was a sign to not go out and get any more beer, that maybe I’d be fine if I’d just sat down at home. So, of course I scooped up the bill and went back to the liquor store. Yes…I suck.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTe5CIiiQTI

Etta James passed away. Rest In Piece.

Non- Sequitur #46: My Reflection In A Snow Covered Hill

Um, I drew this like 2 years ago...

Where’d all this frickin’ snow come from all of the sudden? I, I… oh, yeah…it IS  winter in Chicago. Never mind.

                              Mean Girl On The Bus

So, sometimes I see this teen-aged (?) girl on the bus when I go to work in the morning. Sometimes I see her with a young man. Over the last maybe one year, I’d see her with a guy for a few months, then someone new for several months. Recently, I saw her with a different boy. She’s young so it’s not like I think it’s a big deal for her to date different people. The most recent time they sat close enough to me in the back that I could hear snippets of their conversation ( I wasn’t ear hustling, I swear!). It seemed like maybe they were breaking up. She was the loudest and saying stuff like, “You must not have did it right,” “I didn’t tell you ‘cuz you would’ve been accusing me again,” and “You don’t want it, I don’t want it either.” What got to me was not her words, but her tone. She was very mean and argumentative even when she talking about getting a state ID. Then I thought about how she was with her other boyfriends, she spoke to them the exact same way. I know it sounds terrible, but I thought geez, does she want to be with some guy who’ll react negatively and yell at her or knock her on her ass?  Then I thought, no wonder the other boys are gone, I’d leave too. Who wants to be with someone who argues with them all of the time? On the other hand, I’m living alone right now so fuck me for being judgmental.

Hey, a picture of women's finger nail polish

Anime In The Mail       

Yeah, I got some anime in the mail.  The final volumes of Ghost in The Shell:2nd Gig. I really really enjoyed it. It was a pretty decent conclusion to a reasonably tight story about politics and revolution. Actually, it’s about a lot more than that. It’s about the web, cybernetic advancements, identity, individualism vs community, and the needs of minority/immigrant community vs the needs of the dominant culture’s stability…and it’s also about mullets.  I’m not sure if I’ll do a You Tube video review for it or not, but I liked it.  If I ever get a chance to write some sort of action/superhero/intrigue/sci-fi story, I would totally try to do something like this.

Got Ergo Proxy volume 4.  Very engaging. I’ll probably wait until next month before I get the rest of the volumes though.

I also got the first two volumes of  Gunslinger Girl.  It’s very different than what I expected. The premise is, there’s an organization in Italy called the Social Welfare Agency. It’s basically a front for a government institution that trains assassins. They use children for their recruits because the conditioning and cybernetic enhancements just seem to work better on kids than on adults.  I guess I initially thought that the show would be more either light-hearted or tongue in cheek, but for the most part, the concept is played pretty straight. The tone is pretty somber. It’s  kinda like Le Femme Nikta with school girls. I’ve only watched the first DVD so far. It’s not bad, just different than what I thought it would be.

                                                         McDonald’s Is Making Me Fat

So, I was at McDonald’s last night. I noticed that the woman who took my order had alternating colors of finger nail polish. Black then red then black. I dunno…I thought it was kinda cute.

 

Non-Sequitur #19: Cleaned A Lotta Plates in Memphis

It’s a mighty long way back to rock n roll

Greetings from the home of B.B King, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis! The tempature was in the 30’s when I got here. I’m doing back flips cuz that’s literally almost 40 degrees warmer than the weather I left. I’m not on my own computer, this is my aunt’s and she a little particular about how long I stay on so this might be a short entry.

When I was waiting for the bus out of town, I saw an Amish family waiting at the station. Nothing crazy happened or anything, just not something I’m used to seeing in downtown Chicago.
When picking up my ticket, I had to show not only my ID but also the credit card I used to pay for it online. Not that it was a gigantic hassle or anything, but it’s like, the ticket’s paid for…you got your money…what do you care if I got the credit card or not?
I know I’m WAAAY behind the loop, but  I wasn’t aware that Vanilla Ice  had a reality show where he renovates houses. Vanilla Ice?  Flippin’ houses? When did this happen? But I ain’t mad at him. Go make your money, Rob.
Machete: I finally got around to watching this movie and I have to say I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t pointed or funny enough to work as parody/satire and not visceral enough to …you don’t know this, but I been gone almost two hours. I’ve been outside raking leaves, RAKING LEAVES! I was prepared to do almost any other household chores besides yard work. I’m out of shape and I’m pooped!Anyway…to work as a straight B-Movie action flick. I have to say I had a lot more fun with Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
Lemmy: A documentry about the frontman of seminal heavy metal band Motorhead. Although fun and entertaining for me, it didn’t uncover much about Lemmy Kilmester’s personal life. I did learn that he has two adult sons. I’m not surprised by that fact (Lemmy’s in his 60’s), but I didn’t know. The film is mainly various people saying  “Yeah, Lemmy’s awesome.” My take on his appeal/charisma/legendhood is this: while Lemmy seems to be a genuinely down to earth  nice guy, he is also this larger than life symbol of hard rock. Whatever you think you like about punk rock/heavy metal/classic rock/biker outlaws you can see in it Lemmy. Also, he’s way past the age other folks would have given up this lifestyle if they were doing it just to be cool. Lemmy is a lifer.
Ok, my aunt made some schrimp and feticcini with cheese sauce yesterday (yum!). I’m gonna get some left overs and then do the dishes. It’s in the upper 50’s some I’m gonna enjoy the sunshine as well. Take it easy.