Non-Sequitur # 59: SHHEEEIIIITTTTT!!!!!

Yeah, I kinda live there…

So. yeah…This week hadn’t been the greatest for me. I haven’t worked at all and I’ve been kinda bummed about that. I felt a little better after going to the movies Thursday. And Friday I thought I’d try to do something creative. Actually, I’d fallen asleep listening to NPR, then I decided to stop being so lazy and try to do something creative. So, it’s around um…after 5pm and I thought I’d get some beer and run back in the house.

As I left my apartment, I noticed policemen lounging around in the hallway on my floor. They told me  to take the stairs and I saw firemen in stairwell, so I dunno…I guess there’s something wrong with the elevators. Whatever. When I got to the ground floor, I asked the doorman what was going on. He said something like, “Oh, we got a tenant…” and trailed off. I then assumed either maybe someone called the cops cuz the guy in there was drunk or maybe he’d been evicted and didn’t want to go. Whatever.

So, I went to the liquor store, got my beer, and walked home. As I approached my building, a female detective told me I couldn’t go any further. I said, “Oh, I just live right there in that building.” She said, “Well, that’s where the problem is,” and ushered me and a couple of other people across the street. Then the loose rumors started. What’s going on? Someone’s gone crazy? Someone’s got a gun? Guns? Fuuck…

The police then told us  to move further down the street and started to section off the area with yellow tape. Maybe it WAS getting serious? It’s a hostage situation, evidently.  The older guy who lives on my floor, supposedly, he’s got a gun and a girl in his room and he won’t come out. I know the guy and usually he’s kinda low-key unless he’s drunk, so I figured the police would  talk him down and we’ll get to go inside shortly.

While I was lending against the wall waiting  a woman walked up to me and asked what was going on. I told her and we got to talking. Then some crazy dude walked up to us saying, “Move along! Good day!” He had to say it twice for me to realize that he was talking to me. He told me to stop messing with his wife. He walked her away and I heard him say,”I know him, he’s a hype.” I said, “Dude, you don’t know me!” He continued walking and said, “Good day!” I replied,  “No! Good day to you!” The male detective who was standing in front of the yellow tape smirked at the lameness of this confrontation.  Not long after, the police told those of still standing there  to move even further down to the end of the block. It  definitely was getting serious.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I see yellow police tape and the entire street blocked off and cops are standing around with automatic rifles, I assume the situation is not trivial. It’s funny how many people were miffed cuz the police told approaching people they had to either wait or go around the block. Can’t I just go over there? No, it’s very dangerous situation! Tsk! How inconvenient!

After awhile the temperature started to drop and the sun began to sink. I stood by another woman who lived in my building and we talked for a moment. She shared her coffee with me and also offered me a sip from her half pint (rum I think). I told her I’d be  cool with the beer I bought but thanked her for the offer.  Some people began to wonder aloud why the police didn’t just charge in the room and get the guy. It’s also funny how the rumors and stories started to circulate. Some people were saying a man shot someone and ran into the building. Some were saying that he was shot in the leg and ran into the building. The best one was that he had a bomb.

Eventually, the police slowly began to take down the yellow tape and told us that we could pass. When I entered the lobby, the building management told us to wait before we went on the fifth floor because the cops used tear gas to get the man out and it would take a little awhile to air out the hallway.

Apparently, what happened was that  it was the old army vet that lives on my floor. He hadn’t been taking his medication, however, he was getting high with a couple of girls. He thought one of them stole something from him and wouldn’t let them leave. Turns out he didn’t have a gun, although he did have a machete and knives. Reportedly, he was throwing the knives at the inside of the door when the police were here. When they got tired of trying to negotiate, the police used tear gas on him. They took dude to the hospital. I’m not sure what all the formal charges will be.

So, I guess that’s it.  Originally, I was going to write about seeing that movie The Master and some other random stuff, but yeah…shit got wild for a minute…

Non-Sequitur # 42: Random Randomness from Random City

Mar-Vell and the Avengers. I think the art is Sal Buscema


The owner of the company that I work for brought his dog to work. I’m not good with dogs, I have no idea what kind of breed she is. Labrador Retriever?? I just know it’s a black dog and a female. The dog’s personality is kind of funny. She’ll follow you around if you don’t pat any attention to her, but if you acknowledge her, she’ll run off and bark. Like a co-worker said, I guess that’s just her way of playing.

They gave us free pizza at work not long ago. It was good, I guess.

Lance Briggs, linebacker for the Chicago Bears has a new comic book from Top Cow coming out called Seraph. Because I am lame, I missed out on a signing he had a couple of weeks ago. Screw Me.

So, I’m coming home on the bus last week  and as we approach a major intersection close to where I live, I see that the police have one side of the street sectioned off. I just assumed that maybe there was an accident or something. The next day I was reading the paper and discovered that the police actually sectioned off the block because they had  gunmen holded up in one of the buildings there. I literally live down the street from where this was happening and go to the dollar store in that building.  Welcome to Uptown! Git yer hands in the air, Mutha Fucka!!

There was something wrong with the coffee pot we use at work, so I was under the impression that there would be no coffee that day. I went to the vending machine in the building to get my caffeine fix. I drank half a cup of some of the worst coffee I had in my life. It tasted terrible and didn’t give me that smooth caffeine buzz I’m used to from the normal coffee we drink. This stuff made me jittery and uncomfortable. I swear it could been just brown water with crack in it or something. Luckily, the coffee pot got fixed a couple hours later and we were  able to have normal coffee. Yay, normal coffee! Boo, vending machine coffee!

Jelly Bellies! Because,uh...Jelly Belly!

Someone brought a bowl of jelly beans and placed them on our supervisor’s desk at work Friday. I ‘m pretty sure it was the boss just trying to be nice. I’m not normally a big candy guy, but yeah… this  particular day I found myself hanging around the supervisor’s desk just a little bit longer than normal, asking questions I pretty much knew the answer to, and just um, stuffing my face with sugar and gelatin and corn syrup. Can’t go wrong with a sugar buzz on a Friday.

Archie Meets Kiss:  Eff Yeah! Now THIS is what we need more of in the comics world !   Crossovers that can get people excited! Well, I was excited anyway. Long story short…Sabrina the  teen-aged witch tries to cast a spell of protection over Riverdale, but Veronica messes it up causing monsters to appear. The members of Kiss also appear determined to stop the monsters. How will they stop the monsters? “The only way we know how…WITH ROCK!” America, eff yea…

Watch this quick before Led Zeppelin makes You Tube take it down…